Happy Mother's Day!

It’s mother’s day, and I thought I’d do something different. I usually dwell on the negative aspects of my relationship with my mother. I am still so hurt by my childhood, and with the way things ended a few years ago…our relationship finally obliterated beyond repair. When I see happy families, with moms and grandma’s who are close, it stings. I will never have that, and more importantly, my children will never have that. My grandparent’s house was my safe place growing up. I guess my kids don’t need that, since our family life is so good. They don’t need a safe haven like I did. But that isn’t what this blog is about. This blog is about golden linings (because I like gold waay better than silver!). So today, in honor of golden linings, I will celebrate the great things that my mother gave me.

For one thing, I was raised with an open mind. My mother was friends with all kinds of people. We often had brunches with her friends. Ted and his (male) partner usually hosted...he could serve up a mean brunch! He now owns a bed and breakfast by the way, Old Mill on the Falls…check him out if you’re in town. We always prepared a vegetarian dish or two for fellow bruncher (I know that isn’t a word!) Rose and her girlfriend. My mother dated exclusively black men after my father. I always say I was one man away from being mixed. Her friends came from all different backgrounds, and most of them were great people. I often wonder how she got lucky enough to have such people in her life. She taught me that people are people, regardless of race, sexual orientation, or income level. For that, I am grateful. Living in the tiny bible belt town I currently live in, I feel blessed to have been raised to be so accepting of others.

Another thing I have to thank my mother for is my wonderful husband Stephen. If it wasn’t for her, we probably wouldn’t be together today. She moved down here before I did, and he just happened to work at the same hotel she did the first year or so she was here. She found out he had the same birthday as me, and ended up showing him my picture. I had been planning to move down with my current boyfriend, and our almost two year old son. He told my mother that I should leave the boyfriend up north. Unfortunately, I did not! Every time I went to visit her at work (mere blocks from my apartment) he was there. He always took my son to get M&M’s from the vending machine, and swore he’d take him fishing one day. Eventually, my relationship with my son’s father fell apart. Soon after, Stephen and I hooked up. We got married on our birthday, and I have enjoyed almost eleven years of happiness. He has taken my oldest boy fishing many times, just as he promised. We also have three other children. He cooks, cleans, helps with the children, works full time, keeps the bills paid, fixes things around the house, and still manages to spoil me rotten in his spare time. Finding him was one of the best things that ever happened to me. He is so so good to me. He loves me no matter what, we rarely fight, he treats me like a queen, and everyone I know tells me how good I have it. He is just that amazing. If I can’t thank my mother for anything else, I have to thank her for bringing us together. Sure, it would be nice to have a mom I could call when I needed her, or for my kids to have a grandma to dote on them. But my husband is a gift that I am so thankful for. I wouldn’t trade him for the best mother in the world. I finally have someone to take care of ME (I took care of myself for so long) and my children have a full time daddy, something I always longed for. We are SO lucky!

So today, on mother’s day, I am thankful for the gifts my mother gave me.  She was far from ideal, but my life would not be what it is now without her…and my life is sooo good!